I'm back, sorta

I'm back. More or less. I don't know how much the Human Assistant will feel like helping me blog. But there's today, anyway.

I know it's been six months! But not much has happened. Really. Today I found a new roll of toilet paper and chewed up about half of it.

But that's no big deal. Except that it's about the third time that the Human Assistant has left one in reach lately when I've been bored.

He was outside playing with one of his little computers. Dumb. Because it's hot out there. So I had to find something to do inside.

H.A. hasn't wanted to write about the more important stuff. Like Sinjin being gone.

One weekend his spondylosis just got too bad. First he couldn't stand up but he could walk if H.A. helped him up. Then he couldn't stay standing up by himself. And he was in lots of pain.

So that Monday he took one last trip to the vet.

Sinjin's spine was already hurting when he first came here. But he hung in there and annoyed me for a year and a week. Of course, I got to annoy him for a year and a week too.

And you remember our friend Minky? She left notes here a couple of times. And she let me interview her a while back.

But Minky didn't make it through the winter. She had had new-monia way back, too. Like I did, I guess. I think she got sick because of breathing trouble again. I heard her humans were giving her oxygen, anyway.

So, well, it's hot and I can't think of any more to say. I'll have H.A. write again when I think of some stuff.

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Ummm - excuse me?

It's bad enough that the Human Assistant hasn't posted anything for me for a long time. (Oh, he started about three different ones but didn't finish them.)

But last night he went to bed and forgot me!  As in, shut the door and left me outside! Abandoned me! And it was 16° F last night!  And even colder in centigrade!  -9° C !!!

[mr_ed:  Yeah, but it was 264 K.]

And it was snowing!  Did I mention it was snowing ‽‽‽

[mr_ed:  Not inside the garage, it wasn't.]

H.A. took some pictures today. He said this is probably what I looked like last night. Except it was dark, so he didn't see me to tell me to come in.

My eyelids are getting heavy.

I am getting sleepy....

sleepy....

I don't care. That's gotta be abuse or something. I didn't have a nice carpet, kitchen floor, or doggy bed to sleep on. (I need all three during the course of a night.)

Anyway. It was only about five hours. And I found a frozen poop that I brought in the garage and chewed on. So it wasn't real boring.

Here are some pictures from last Friday night. That was our second snow of the season. So this post actually started out being called Second snow. Which was because there was another post before called First snow. Which, believe it or else, was after our first snow of the season.

Not too much red in this photo.	LOTS of red in this photo!
It was a dark and stormy night ...	with ghosts!
Alizé‽  Where are you‽	Coming!
Outside - no snow on Sinjin.	Inside - snow on Sinjin!

H.A. tried using a "night" setting on his dopey little camera. Most of the pictures turned red. Also, the flash would go off three times. So some of the pictures have ghosts!

I thought they were too dopey to show. But I will anyway. It's what we have. I gotta use what we got if H.A. is only going to help me write a post once every ninety-eleven days.

I made the H.A. take most of the red out of most of the photos. But not that second one. So you could see how dopey the camera made the pictures.

Anyway. That's all for now.

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Oh!  Happy birthday to Burger King!

First snow

Happy Dagur íslenskrar tungu!

In particular it may be mentioned that Icelandic possesses quite a few instances of oblique cases without any governing word, much like Latin (e.g., many of the various Latin ablatives have a corresponding Icelandic dative).

Yeah, that explains it, huh?

We got a little snow on Friday. First snow of the season! The Human Assistant was having trouble sleeping. So he herded us outside to take some photos that turned out pretty crummy in the dark.

Sinjin's not quite awake	Balancing the moon on my tail!
Bug Sinjin or check the fence?	Neighborcat?

That's not really the moon. I'm actually balancing a snowflake on my tail!  Heh heh!

Then we all went back to sleep. Then we all got up later. When the sun was up. That picture turned out better.

You can see we didn't get much snow. By afternoon it was all melted in the back yard. Which is a hill that faces south. Which the H.A. says gets more sun than the part that's in the shadow in the front yard.

Ok lýkr þar Hænsa-Þóris sögu.  (And there ends the saga of Hønsa-Thóri.)

Or as H.A. says so strangely, "An' dat's da name a' dat tune."

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Same ol' same ol'

Nothing new is actually happening. All us guys are having breathing problems. But it's the same old stuff.

I started snorking a few days ago. Breathing in real hard through my nose. To make it easier to breathe. But I guess the new monia I had when I got here made it so that doesn't work.

So the Human Assistant is giving me my usual medicine for it. And it's making me my usual hungrier. So I claw H.A. more while he's at the computer. But it's working! Sinjin and I are getting more treats!

I guess Sinjin's stuffed head is draining down his throat. He's doing throat clearing again. Every once in a while. He goes,  GAAAAAAAACK!  He sounds like a human when he starts out. It freaks out H.A. 'cause there aren't supposed to be any other humans in the house.

And the H.A.'s head fills up when he lies down. I don't understand how that works. But it makes it hard for him to breathe through his nose. It wakes him up sometimes.

But that's just the same old stuff. Like I said.

He called MaxFund today to find out about Alizé. They called her spa and called him back.

Everything's pretty much the same. Her blood is still too sweet. And they haven't spadeded her yet. Or whatever it is they're going to do to her. It's been more than a week and a half! What's wrong with that girl‽‽‽  Let's get with the program!

So the news is that there's no news. Boooooring!

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You may already be a wiener (dog)!

The wieners have been announced in the Denver's Luckiest Mutt calendar contest!!! Like our friend Minky!!!

And, uh, Alizé and Sinjin. So big whoopdeedo to those two, too.

We voted for seven of the 15 winning dogs. No, we didn't vote for Alizé or Sinjin! (We weren't allowed to.) I suppose we would have if we could have. Them being Siberian Huskies and all.

Unfortunately, the genuine wiener dog wasn't a winner this year. Neither were the other Siberian Huskies in the contest.

Neither was Minky's brother, Moey. Even though we voted for him. I guess the rest of Minky's family didn't enter the contest. But you can see them on dogster on Minky's page or Moey's page or Benny's page, or.... You get the idea. Hope to see them in next year's contest!

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Calendar contest

This was supposed to get posted yesterday. But. You know how that goes.

Who's a lucky mutt?

Me!  Me!

Here's another example of no important news. No news about me. It's time again for the Denver's Luckiest Mutts calendar contest. Guess who the Human Assistant didn't put in the contest? Again?

But Alizé and Sinjin get to compete. Phooey.

Now H.A. says he's sorry he didn't enter me. But it's too late. Voting's even supposed to be over by now. So I have to wait another whole year.

You can see last year's Siberian Husky calendar boy in a post from a few months ago.

Two of H.A.'s pictures don't show up anymore in that post. There's just a rectangle with some words. They were on zootoo and now they're not. I think H.A. still has them on his computer, so I'll get him to make them show up again.

Anyway.

Happy birthday one day late to Fridtjof Nansen. He was an arctic explorer. With sleds and dogs and stuff. He was also a real smart guy who observed weird stuff with the ocean and nerve cells. Nansen was also a diplomat. So three cheers for another Scandihoovian!

-- photos by Nicole Howard

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Making solar energy go farther

Was last night the coldest night of the year?

I ask not because it felt like last night was the coldest night of the year. But because otherwise the Human Assistant was gonna name this post The Three Stooges on parade.

But last night was when the earth was farthest away from the sun. It's called appeal eon for some stupid reason. It happens every year. But I guess not always on quite the same day. You can get a calendar to remind of you these "important" events of the human world.

(Shouldn't being farther away from the sun make it colder?  Hmmm.)

Another "important" human event was celebrated today. With fireworks, beer, barbecue. All that stuff. It's the anniversary of the day that a British officer named George Washington surrendered Fort Necessity to the French. It's celebrated because it was the only time Washington surrendered.

That humans remember, anyway. Sibes know how that works! Do something good later, and they forget about the earlier stuff!

Washington also started the French and Indian War. It lasted 9 years. So they called it the Seven Years War.

This made France give Louisiana to Mexico. Which gave it back to France. Which sold it to the United States. Which turned it into Arizona, New Mexico, and two-thirds of Texas and Colorado.

Here's an idea in case you ever decide to figure out humans. Take a nap instead!

A couple of days ago the H.A. tried to walk all three of us together. Two big Sibe dudes and little blind Alizé. And his walking stick and camera. This may have been more than he was capable of.

Huh‽‽‽	Alizé!  This way!
Ooof!	Not. With. The. Program.
Am too!	Ooof!

ABM.  Always Blame Management.

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Now who?

Sorry for no posts in a while! The Human Assistant has been busy. As I'll explain.

Here's a cozy domestic scene. According to the H.A. He took these Sunday night.

Sinjin in his den.

Me 'n' some other dog.

Like I said before, the Human Assistant must've started missing Sally Violet pretty fast. He only got rid of her Friday afternoon. Then just a day and a nap later, he brought home some other dog.

I could smell that she came from someplace with lots of dogs. But not the H.A.'s usual shelter. And she looked and smelled like she hadn't lived with humans in a while! Not that I minded that, of course. It made her more interesting. But even her pee smelled funny.

The H.A. thought that since I  ☮ didn't mind ☮  the senior female Lucy Sally Violet, then I was bound to positively  ♥ like ♥  a senior female Sibe!

I wish I could make that human sound where they stick out their tongue and make it flap against their lips! Try bringing me a female friend that doesn't walk into me when I'm sprawled out! If you're going to bring me a female friend.

Then the next day he took this dog to the usual shelter and brought her back wearing a MaxFund tag.

Then the next day he took her someplace else and came back without her. He smelled like the place where I go to get weighed and shots and stuff. He said they wanted to keep her overnight.

Hey, I'm not greedy! Keep her forever!

Then nothing happened the next day. Which was Tuesday. Okay, H.A. says he spent a lot of time on the phone trying to find this dog's humans. From a chip she has on her shoulder. That's a strange thing for him to say! She's actually a pretty relaxed dog.

The phone calls convinced H.A. that her name really was Alizé. Like the shelter told him. He just kinda had trouble believing someone would name a Sibe a French word for wind. Or some French booze. Or a French singer. Or one of her French songs.

Wouldn't it make more sense to name a dog after French fries? (French french fries are pommes frites. Isn't that the breed of our friend Minky? )

Anyway. Then H.A. brought Alizé back on Wednesday. She had these places on her front legs with no fur. She said they scraped it off one leg and stuck a needle in her.  ​Ouch!

Then they left the needle in her leg the rest of the day!  ​Owooowooowooo!

She said at least she wasn't starving for a drink while this hose was connected to her. But she got tired of it and pulled the hose off that night. She couldn't get the needle out. But she licked it and chewed it and goobered it up so they couldn't use it.

So then they scraped fur off her other leg. And stuck a needle in that one! And left it there all day !  ​I thought there were humans who stopped animal torture like that!

Well. She got tired of that hose too. Pulled it off that night. They didn't hook it up again. Thank dog!

But they were sticking her with other needles. And bothering her while she peed. Which was pretty often. They kept catching her pee in jars. Humans are so weird!

I guess Alizé can barely see. When she first got here she ran into steps that go up. And tripped down steps that go down. Now she does fine on the steps. And actually, she doesn't step on me anymore. But she still gets too close! So I have to bark at her.

The Human Assistant gives her shots twice a day. She acts like she can't even feel them! And he catches her pee. And sticks a skinny piece of paper in it. Weird!

And puts drops in her eyes. Now that she doesn't especially like.

And she won't eat kibble now. She did before she went away for a couple of days. But I guess they spoiled her. And her second meal isn't at the same time as ours.

So me and Sinjin will be getting some stinky canned food at night! I hope that's in addition to medi-treats!

And that's the story on this other dog. We'll see what happens. Or smell and hear what happens. You know what I mean.

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Red Wubba red Wubba web Wudda

No, I don't miss Lucy.  I mean, Sally Violet.  (That's her new name.)

She was okay. She hardly ever bothered me. But last week she barked at me! Just because I was eating her food! So I gave her a bite on her muzzle.

That's why the Human Assistant was mad at me. He doesn't like for the merchandise fosters to get damaged. Oh, and I gave Sinjin a second bite on the muzzle. So much for his "handsome face"!

Anyway. Here's the second part of the pictures from last time. The more important part. Especially since What's-​her-​name isn't here anymore.

Thank you.
Now, don't take my Wubba!	I mean it!

My Wubba!

Yup.

Mine.

Doo be do be chooo....	You're not taking it, are you?
Dang it!	Why'd you throw it?
Double dang it!	Not again!  Forget it!  Game over!

Yeah, so I guess the Human Assistant misses Sally Violet already. Last night he was looking at other dogs on the computer.

Another dog?   Already ‽‽‽

He made notes about one dog in a notepad. So this morning while he was still asleep I took the notepad off the computer desk. In the back yard I pulled all the pages out. Then I came back in for a flyer he had for the Lucky Mutt Strut for the MaxFund shelter.

Shoot! That only had his notes for Vasha's blurb! So I only tore one corner off.

Then I came back in and dug around in a bag of stuff H.A. got at REI. There was some kind of doofussy pen from outer space or something. Still on its little card from the store. So I unwrapped that and gave it a good chew.

I happen to know that it's not the pen he wanted. But the store didn't have any of those. And they're not on the outer space website now, either.

So I'm sure he didn't mind. And I just dented the cap real good. Metal's sure harder to chew than plastic! He got the red one, by the way.

Anyway. I guess I didn't foil the H.A.'s plans. More about that another time.

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Deconstructing snowballs

There hasn't been much to write about. Not much has been going on.

Lucy meets somebody interested in adopting her tomorrow/​today/​Thursday. The Human Assistant acts like he doesn't want her adopted. Maybe it's just not to this person.

I wouldn't mind her leaving. But I'd rather get rid of Sinjin. He's getting rude! So a couple of times I've had to pin him down and bite his muzzle. H.A. thinks the owies don't look good on his "handsome face."

So Sinjin should shut up! He gets pushy when H.A. fixes our medi-treats. Squeezes in close and barks. I growl at him to stop it. So what does he do?

Sinjin is now snarling at me! Ooh, it's a good scary snarl, too! Good lip curl. Someday H.A. will have to get a picture of that! Before I chew his nose off. (Sinjin's.)

It's been getting pretty warm some days. And the house doesn't cool off very well at night. Like the outdoors does. So one evening I teased Sinjin. But it was too warm to put much effort into it.

Tucker:  Hot?
Sinjin:  Thirsty!
Tucker:  Eat a snowball.
Sinjin:  A what?
Tucker:  Snowball!
Sinjin:  Snow?
Tucker:  Now?  No.
Sinjin:  O.

Wednesday evening it rained. H.A. got kinda chilly. So he closed the windows and the door out to the garage. Which he usually leaves open so we can go outside when we want.

After a while there was some muffled barking. Gremlin doesn't like noise very much. H.A. says she never really has.

So she went to the room where H.A. was reading and told him somedoggy was barking. Like he couldn't hear it. And decide on his own whether he wanted to leave Mr. Barks-​a-​lot outside.

Heh heh heh. I guess H.A. didn't count noses when he closed the door!

Another good thing that happened was that H.A. cooked 15 pounds of hamburger for MaxFund. Sinjin and I made extra-​double sure to bother him while he cooked. But of course Lucy and Gremlin did their share too.

H.A. hasn't felt up to taking the hamburger to the shelter. So we've already eaten two pounds of it! The girls haven't had much appetite for our kibble lately. So we've all been getting some burger mixed in with it. Thanks, ladies!

Well, that's all for tonight.

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mr_ed:  Happy birthday to the Apple II computer and to Elvis Presley's first public performance of Hound Dog!

Innocent until photographed

Yesterday the Human Assistant saw me with my nose in the kitchen sink.  There were things in there that smelled like bacon!  But I couldn't reach them.  That's a deep sink!

Anyway. H.A. didn't have his camera ready. So he didn't get a picture. So it didn't count.

And I saw Sinjin with his paws and nose on the stove!  I thought he was supposed to have bad hips!  I don't think H.A. saw him.  So Sinjin's still a goody-goody.  As far as H.A. knows.  No pictures of it, anyhow.

But do you know what?  Sometimes H.A. makes up photos!  It's true!

One summer he worked at the Northern Wyoming Daily News. This was during Woodward and Bernstein's time as huge celebreties at The Washington Post. So you'd think H.A. would be all ethical and everything.

Well! One day he was walking around town with his camera. He saw a fire in a dumpster. He claims he took some pictures of it and one of them was on the front page the next day. Here's his "photo" of a gas can in the fire:

Gas can in fire.

Jeep in sandstorm.

Steller's Jay at dusk.

mr_ed:  Not true!  They used a real photograph that I snapped and developed at the newspaper office!

Anyway. He put these fraud-ographs on the forum for MaxFund volunteers and claimed they were real pictures.

mr_ed:  I did have a beige Grand Wagoneer!  You can ask Gremlin!

Yeah, well, I think that's enough of this for today.

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Orange puppies?

♫♫  Doo be doo be doo....  ♩	Tucker said there were puppies.
Orange puppies!	Do you see any orange puppies?
Poppies, not puppies!  Teeheehee!	Oh!  Hahahahaha!

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Say good night, Dick!

Dick Martin, thank you for bringing your laughter into my home!

     -- Ed

-- photo of Dan, Dick, and Dick (may they rest in peace) from Associated Press

Uncooperation

Okay, yes.

I finally went to see Diane the Doggroomer last Friday.

Did you see how white my face was in that last post?

Except for the red at my mouth.

This picture has even more.

It comes and goes. It bothers the Human Assistant but not me. My dokker doesn't know what to say about it.

H.A. thinks it's like when a dog licks an uncomfortable spot. Then it turns brown. Does anydoggy else have this? Around their mouth?

Actually, it does bother me because H.A. tries to rub it off. And he says it works, a little bit.

Anyway.  We have been studying hard for a class we're taking.  Cooperating for Photos 1 at the Stormy Zoluschka Kryschtal School of Siberian Studies!

The first lesson about cooperating for photos was, Don't cooperate!  The second was, Cooperate if you want to!

Of course Sinjin and I had an instinct about these ideas. But it's very good to have them stated. And to practice them!

Cooperate?

::giggle::  ::snork::

That's a good one!

Now, Lucy is a different matter. She's one (or two) of those breeds that likes to do what humans say.

But around here there are no ducks or geese for her to retrieve like a good little hunter's helper. (Too bad she didn't get that home by the lake!)

So instead she wants to sniff things. Especially under them. So it's hard for the H.A. to get her to pose. Or she wants to hang around him. Too close for his crummy camera to focus.

So Lucy doesn't have an instinct for uncooperation. But her other instincts make her uncooperative for photos! Which is just as good in this case.

Lucy, smell the lilacs!	Huh?
Good girl!	Huh?

Notice that somedoggy old ... I mean, experienced ... snuck into all four of those pictures of Lucy!

Stormy made another point today.  Keep the bipeds working for it!  It's like a game of Simon says.  Only the human doesn't speak dog.  And the Sibe has selective hearing.  ☺

If they don't ask you to stay out of the way, well....

If they want a picture of you smelling a flower, you could maybe just look at it.

Smell the flowers?	I guess I could look....
Me too.	Me three!

Hey!  You two don't have to put your nose on it just 'cause he said to!

::sigh::  Well, that works to keep the human guessing, anyway.

I can't wait for Stormy to give us another lesson!

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Paw, Ear, Tail ... PET!