Well, shoot

Tucker:  Where are your guns?
mr_ed:  There's a shotgun next to the front door, another one next to the bed, one by the toilet, one under the computer table....
Tucker:  No there's not.
mr_ed:  I don't have any guns.
Tucker:  It's bad karma to lie to your dog. You'll come back as a squirrel.
mr_ed:  Why would I need guns when I have three large dogs? Anyone who's too doped up to be afraid of a gun still won't come near a dog.
Tucker:  Is that true?
mr_ed:  I dunno - I just said it.
Tucker:  Sounds good, though.
mr_ed:  And if I did  have guns, I wouldn't tell you where they were. For your own protection.
Tucker:  You think I might hurt myself?
mr_ed:  I think you might hurt me, and then I'd be mad at you. You might not get any treats for a long, long time.
Tucker:  You saw that story then?
mr_ed:  Yes I did. Whole lotta not thinking going on there.
Tucker:  I could see Jaeger knocking a gun on the floor with his tail.
mr_ed:  Somebody told me about a similar situation, only it was cups of tea and cans of pop. They set 'em up, dog knocked 'em down. Again and again. Really, you have to be smarter than the dog.
Tucker:  Not possible.
mr_ed:  Okay, smarter than the dog's tail.
Tucker:  Does puppy bite her tail because it's smarter than she is, and she's jealous?
mr_ed:  You'd have to ask her.
Tucker:  I'm not speaking to her. She and Jaeger are really on my nerves tonight.
mr_ed:  I noticed. Guess it's back to Prednisone.
Tucker:  I've never been to PregnaZone. I said that before. I'm a male.
mr_ed:  You said that before, too. It's medicine, fluff brain.
Tucker:  ::sad husky eyes::
mr_ed:  Fluff tail - I meant fluff tail! A handsome tail that would never knock things off coffee tables!
Tucker:  I need a treat.
mr_ed:  Yes, so your tummy won't be empty for the medi... midnight hour. It's tough to wake up in the night and be hungry and there I am all asleep and stuff.
Tucker:  I accept your apology.
mr_ed:  Very gracious of you! May the wheel of karma bring you back as a highly evolved being!
Tucker:  A red and white Siberian Husky.
mr_ed:  ::big hug::
Tucker:  Oof!  Go to bed and let me eat my treat.
mr_ed:  Sweet dreams!