Piled higher and Deeper

Tucker:  So you have news about stars?
mr_ed:  One star down here and many up there! Sixty-year-old Queen guitarist Brian May is finishing his Ph.D. in astrophysics! Sounds like all he has left is the defense of his dissertation.
Tucker:  And what is that?
mr_ed:  I'm so glad you asked! Radial Velocities in the Zodiacal Dust Cloud.
Tucker:  I mean, what's a dissertation?
mr_ed:  Oh. A big paper you write to show that you did something new in your field.
Tucker:  It would be hard for a dog to do something new in a field. Chasing animals, marking, rolling in stuff.... It has all been done many times before.
mr_ed:  Ph.D. students get that same feeling sometimes.
Tucker:  I am getting a Ph.D.!

mr_ed:  Ohhh?
Tucker:  I am almost done with the research!
mr_ed:  Then comes the paper....
Tucker:  I will not be tearing up paper. Promise. My research is in another area.
mr_ed:  How do you prove what you've done?
Tucker:  A bunch of dogs get together. I will tell about it. If anyone disagrees we will fight a little.
mr_ed:  In a polite, scholarly way.
Tucker:  Collars? We will wear collars, probably.
mr_ed:  So what will you tell about?
Tucker:  The Role of Leadership in Establishing a Siberian-Only Home.
mr_ed:  Ahhhh. You're researching our little pack, aren't you?
Tucker:  "Write what you know."
mr_ed:  I'll bet you found leadership to play a very important role, didn't you?
Tucker:  Oh yes, absolutely.
mr_ed:  And your research will be done soon?
Tucker:  Two more weeks, I think. Then Jaeger and puppy will be gone.
mr_ed:  And Gremlin?
Tucker:  She has a Certificate of Honorary Huskydom. The committee was unanimous. In her early years she dug under fences to escape....
mr_ed:  And pushed through them.
Tucker:  Oh yes. Chewed books. Never furniture. That was a weak point in her CV.
mr_ed:  Curriculum Vitae?
Tucker:  Canine Virtues. And she wooooos. That is very strong in her favor.
mr_ed:  And barks annoyingly when she wants something from me.
Tucker:  Yes, that's a plus too.
mr_ed:  This all sounds similar to higher education for humans. Does Ph.D. stand for Doctor of Philosophy?
Tucker:  That would be D.Ph., now wouldn't it? It stands for Phamily Dog.
mr_ed:  "Family" spelled ph?
Tucker:  I don't want to point any toes.... But it was set up without Sibe input. While Siberian Huskies were still isolated in Siberia.
mr_ed:  The Russian Far East.
Tucker:  You say potato, I say chew toy.
mr_ed:  A whole system of higher training! What comes before Ph.D.?
Tucker:  There is the M.A.
mr_ed:  Master of....
Tucker:  Mutt Academy. And B.A. before that.
mr_ed:  I won't even try to guess.
Tucker:  Basic Antics. It is for immature dogs. So they get called Baby Animals. Barely Adequate. Barks A-lot.
mr_ed:  That's quite a system - I admit that I'm impressed! Will you keep me posted on how your Ph.D. is going?
Tucker:  Oh, you'll know.  ::Big husky smile::